Quests, rum and anchors up a pirates bum
As strange as it may seem, there are people out there that don’t like metal. These clowns still don’t get it when you try and explain it to them they say, “yeah but it all sounds the same.”
Imagine, then, attempting to elucidate Alestorm to those heathens. Imagine trying to make them understand why heavy metal tinged sea shanties were so much fun. Perhaps you could do this by patiently talking about “Mexico” to them, and regale the sample chorus “yo ho Mexico, far to the south where the cactus grow, tequila and a donkey show, Mexico”.
If that doesn’t work, then maybe, just maybe you should try with “Fucked With An Anchor” which manages to rhyme anchor with exactly what you think it might, and drop the C bomb just for grins. It does this, because the pirate at its centre has been cursed by a witch doctor and forced to swear a lot.
We aren’t making this up. Not even a little bit.
The point here is even simpler than those lyrics. Alestorm have been doing this for a decade or more and “No Grave But The Sea” is their fifth album. Arguably their best, it is the work of men who think it’s lovely that Bob Dylan won the Nobel prize for literature, but couldn’t give a toss as they are having so many hi jinks on the high seas and precisely no fucks are given as to whether you like it or not.
Which is just fine, as all pirate metal should be this good.
Whether it’s the title track, which is sort of what Sabaton would do if they liked boats instead of tanks, or the mighty “To The End Of The World” Christopher Bowes and his merry men sound like they would rather not be anywhere else than right here.
They’ve even done an Iron Maiden and given themselves an eponymous track. “Alestorm” is like “What Shall We Do With The Drunken Sailor” gone death metal, and is very probably the heaviest thing they’ve ever done.
Because for all the knockabout stupidity here, there is some superb – and varied – songwriting. “Bar Und Imbiss” is folk tinged, while “Pegleg Potion” is performed at Dragonforce type velocity and “Man The Pumps” clocks in at just over six minutes and is a fine piece of storytelling.
They conclude this wonderful thing with what must rank as their most ambitious song to date, and it might be “Treasure Island” is the type of epic that they probably won’t get enough credit for.
Amidst all the -let’s be honest – ludicrousness of the concept the subtleties of the songs get lost in the bluster, though. You suspect that Alestorm are just about happy with this, and are ok with the fact that their epitaph is likely to be the type of turbo charged oompah of “Rage Of The Pentahook.”
Say it loud, say it proud – and as they say on that song – “raise your hooks to the sky” and salute the best at what they do anywhere on the seven seas. At pleasing the crew and giving their fans what they want, Alestorm have no peers whatsoever.
Rating 8.5/10
