We’re only doing this ‘cos it’s fun,” sings Justin Hawkins on “Walking Through Fire.” “Not even my mum bought the last one.”
And yet.
There’s a very real possibility that “Dreams On Toast” will be number one on Friday—and please, let it sell more than those Tory pricks Mumford & Sons.
The show they played when I saw them the other week—thousands sold out at Wolverhampton Civic Hall—saw them play most of it.
Look, they know it’s good. They just can’t take it seriously. Indeed, it’s arguably their best album since their debut because they don’t.
If you’re gonna start, then start as you mean to go on, and that’s precisely what “Rock N Roll Party Cowboy: does.
Essentially, it’s a list of rock ‘n’ roll clichés—except it’s not. They’re too savvy for that. Always cleverer than they appeared, on this one, they offer: “I ain’t gonna read no Tolstoi.” And get bonus points for using a Bon Jovi lyric.
“I Hate Myself” is catchier than the flu. A horn section, a sax solo—you name it. And its Chuck Berry boogie is way more fun than it should be with lyrics like it has.
That goes for the country-tinged “Hot On My Tail” too. The story it tells is magnificent.
Basically, The Darkness don’t think like normal bands. Even “Mortal Dread”—and anyone could spot the AC/DC riff—doesn’t follow the formula, and “Don’t Need Sunshine” is arguably the only song in history to suggest: “I don’t need an app to show you how far I ran.”
They do present me with a problem. See, I hate Queen (no offence to their drummer, like) because my parents played nothing else in the car, but “The Longest Kiss” is pompously brilliant and more than a little similar to Freddie and his lads.
Mostly, though, it’s just bonkers. A punk-flavoured (at least until it goes full-on power metal) “The Battle for Gadget Land” hasn’t come from sane minds.
The timeless music of “Cold Hearted Woman” is at odds with one of the great double entendres, while”Weekend in Rome” sees aforementioned drummer Rufus “Tiger” Taylor delivering dramatic monologues that would shame the local Am-Dram society—and then they end the record in a way that’s brilliant because it’s ludicrous.
Twenty-two years since they saved rock ‘n’ roll, they’ve got the handbrake off, and not one fuck is given.
“Beans On Toast” is the result.
And if we started with a line from “…Fire,” then we need to end with one too. Its hook is this: “I can’t help falling in love with rock ‘n’ roll.”
It shows. You can’t do it this well otherwise.
Rating: 9/10
REVIEW: THE DARKNESS – DREAMS ON TOAST (2025)
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