Sometimes the place to begin these reviews is the most obvious. And in the case of “The Thunderfist Chronicles”, it’s with “Mega-Supreme Treasure of the Eternal Thunderfist”. All 17 minutes of the thing.
It ends this eighth album from Alestorm, and it’s like a pick ‘n’ mix pirate metal buffet. You could argue they’ve been building toward this their whole career—an epic that crams in everything from icy arctic blasts of death metal, to AOR, to power metal, to polka.
Essentially, your reaction to this track will define your reaction to the album as a whole. Assuming anyone is still on the fence with Alestorm—for all kinds of reasons—you’ll either think it’s a work of mad, twisted genius that you can’t explain why you love, or you’ll hate it. There’s no in-between.
By contrast, the rest of the album is fairly normal. That said, we’ve got to caveat that with the phrase: “for Alestorm.”
So it is that “Hyperion Omniriff” is an epic with a chorus that asks, “Are you a c**t or do you drink rum?” (I’m the former.) But Christ, they are ace at this. They really are. Music shouldn’t sound like this. But it does. And you can’t resist it.
“Killed to Death by Piracy” builds itself on a bass groove and a keyboard solo, and here’s the thing—it’s not a parody. It’s Alestorm.
“Banana”, however, is a departure—modern metal. Imagine if Three Days Grace wore eye patches and walked the plank. No joke.
And if you want a moshpit started, “Frozen Piss 2” (you can just imagine families watching this sequel around the TV at Christmas) has you sorted—at least until it takes a folk turn. Anything goes on this voyage.
They play it relatively straight on “The Storm”, which is absurd in itself, because no other band would consider this “usual,” and “Mountains of the Deep” celebrates a woman with “giant boots” for reasons that remain unclear.
Then there’s a cover. And if you had to pick a band for Alestorm to cover, you’d probably pick Nekrogoblikon. They turn “Goblins Ahoy!” into an Alestorm song, in fairness to them. But let’s be real—they’d turn anything into an Alestorm song.
They’ve been doing this for not far off 18 years now. The first time I reviewed them was back in 2012, and if that was already a few years into their career and you wondered how much longer it would last before wearing thin, the answer is: not yet.
Indeed, there’s enough new stuff in “The Thunderfist Chronicles” to suggest they’re nowhere near ready to sail back to port.
Rating: 8/10
