There’s no denying it, I have the attention span of a five-year-old.

I haven’t gone anyway today and I’ve been restless – I can’t just chill. It’s an affliction, it’s cool.

Just a guess here, but Wytch Pycknyck might understand. 35 minutes 7 songs and about a million different things going on all at once. Christ knows what’s in the water in Hastings (a load of raw shit, probably, knowing this Tory government) but assuming there’s anything else, it’s made things here rather psychedelic, that’s for sure.

What can you say about a record that begins as “Rawkuss” does? “I wanna party with animals that live in the zoo”. Just try caging these boys, though. The whole thing is so gloriously unfocussed, doing what it wants.

The rest of it continues in the same vein. How “Creeping Jesus” works is beyond me. About four different songs in one, sometimes at the same time, but it is superb.

“Magical Revenge” bobs along for three and a half minutes of post-punk (post-apocalypse, you choose), and if you fancied a narrated piece about UFOs, then sound, “Gravity Lies” is here to help – oh, and by the way, Malt Davies’ vocals here are a bit Black Sabbath.

Heavy metal appears on “Fire Breathing Dragon” – Monster Magnet fans need to get here ASAP (it is fitting that this album is produced by a chap who was raised on metal but engineers grime artists).

And if you want to talk contrasts, then the last two’ll do you. “Columbo No.5” pulses its way in – bass man Ewan Fitzgerald plays like a man possessed (and wait until he belts his synth), Bonj (no, me neither) shreds and it’s in and out, and away we go.

The last one, though, when it came on in my car the other day (the rock n roll lifestyle meant that I was listening to the record on the way to work) I genuinely had to check it was the same album and not some algorithm Soundcloud had decided to push my way. Fancy a rap song? So did they. Riskee and The Ridicule meets Public Enemy? Something, anyway, Christ knows what. Just eight and a half minutes of it.

Wytch Pycknyck are the perfect band for 2024. They are a Spotify playlist for people who can’t manage a whole album, it’s just that this is a single entity, not a compilation.

On any level, it’s astonishing. And it has more levels than Tetris.

Rating 9/10

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