In desperation, I moved to Instagram recently—around the time X became a racist haven of “free speech”—and one of the people I follow is Wednesday 13. It came as something of a shock to discover he’s a grandad. Like, you just can’t picture him doing “grandad” things. His would surely be the only kids’ party in history where the magician literally sawed the woman in half.
However you look at it, and whether he’s old enough to know better or not, this latest album is magnificent. After a nightmarish start that claims “there’s no such thing as monsters,” we’re into what we might call “trademark” W13.
“Decease And Desist”—the title alone tells you what you’re getting—is trashy and punky (and we can go right ahead and assume they all are). But you know what Wednesday never gets enough credit for, even though he should? Being damn clever. “When The Devil Commands” gets its fists up in the sky, and it’s irresistible.
“I can’t wait till you’re in your grave and you’re cold and rotting away,” he sings on the charming “Rotting Away,” but the thing about all this is you never feel he means it. It’s cartoon horror, but brilliantly done.
“No Apologies” is, well, as unapologetic as you like. Indeed, the idea of W13 apologising for anything I’m sure has never entered his head—and even better, it boasts the incredible presence of Faster Pussycat’s Taime Downe.
The guitars on “Decapitation” belong on MTV in the middle of the ’80s. Poison want their riff back, and the doo-wop harmonies over the line “I want to burn your remains with kerosene” are a wonderful touch.
“In Misery” is yet another brilliant chorus on an album full of them.
“Mid Death Crisis” is produced by Alex Kane—a man who I’ve seen onstage naked, throwing up, and been on the thanks list of over the years (long story!). But he brings out different things than we’ve ever had before. “Blood Storm” is what The Offspring would sound like if they watched Rocky Horror for weeks on end. And if The Duke of Spook himself reckons that the album is a “leave your brain at the door” affair, then “Xanaztasy” still manages to carry a message.
“I Hurt You” probably passes for a ballad on this album, “My Funeral” relishes the day, and “Sick And Violent” ties up all the loose ends with relish. And look, anyone with a passing interest in rock music over the last 40 years can spot the influences here—but so what? So can everyone involved.
The music is wonderfully sleazy. In 1989, I heard Alice Cooper’s Trash when I was 13 and (forgive the clanging cliché) it changed my life. It might have changed Wednesday’s too, but the torch is being passed.
“Mid Death Crisis” is the sound of a man who might be getting towards 50 (if Wiki is right, MV is 11 months older) but is nowhere near a mid-life crisis of any sort.
In fact, he’s sounding in as rude health as ever here, frankly.
RATING: 9/10
