Here’s what you need to know about The Erotics. I could tell you the boring stuff, like they’re from Albany, New York, and fronted by a man called Mike Trash (this probably isn’t his real name), but fuck that.

This is what you actually need to know:

There’s a ballad here, just the one. It’s called “So Many Wasted Days” – and it’s a ballad to hangovers. Oh, and by the way, it’s unapologetic.

The second thing you need to know is the cover they play to end things: “Too Drunk To Fuck,” which they’ve managed to make sound sleazier than The Dead Kennedys did.

Essentially, The Erotics rule.

Their EP “Ride It To Death” was good enough to make you love them, and now here’s the…urmmm…full-length. “Let The Dead Times Roll.” The first song “proper” on here is as good as nasty, punky sleaze ever gets. It’s somewhere between Dead Boys, Faster Pussycat, and Crystal Pistol (look them up).

Indeed, everywhere you look here, there’s a beauty of a song. The best of all is “Rodent House Blues,” and look, if it took me nearly 200 words to say the words “Dogs D’Amour,” then I can hold off no longer.

What makes The Erotics so good is that they understand melody. There are a load of Thin Lizzy licks in here too, as much “She Loves Her Dynamite” would have been at the Cathouse in 1986, then “Guns At Sundown” isn’t even arsed with pretending it doesn’t love Thin Lizzy.

And, to be serious for a sec, that’s the point, really. The Erotics love this music, and they just wanted to play it. So they did. “Sold Souls For Revenge” is the work of lifers, and the air of violence that bubbles just under the surface bubbles over on “The Way You Look At Me,” and you best not cross them.

Things get a bit macabre on “Bon Amputee” – expect Alice Cooper or Wednesday 13 to steal it – and whatever could be said about “Whiskey Cadaver,” it’s a 90% punky classic.

When I reviewed that EP three years ago or so, I made some remark like it was up my street it might as well be called “Andy’s Road,” and there’s an element of that here again. This is the sort of music that I probably love the most, that punky-flavoured sleaze that might want to fight you, but for all my bias, it does mean that I can spot a brilliant exponent of the dark art when I hear one. The Erotics are. “Destined To Damnation” is as good as it gets.

Rating: 9.5/10

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