“Meet my heroes on the Sunset Strip, Hollywood’s where it all began,” goes a line on opener “Living Out Of Line,” and whatever else you say about The Cruel Intentions, you can’t accuse them of not honouring their influences.
That, though, is only half the story. Because All Hail Hypocrisy is one of those records. Not quite LA sleaze, not quite Backyard Babies-style Scandinavian rock, and not quite the full crash-and-burn Hollywood gutter thing either. Instead, they’re doing something all of their own.
All hail that.
The guitar on “Living Out Of Line” is beyond sleazy, but it’s the attitude that really lands. The Cruel Intentions sound like a gang. Not a band that’s been put together in a rehearsal room, but a proper gang, all leather jackets, bad decisions and better choruses.
The title track underlines it. “All Hail Hypocrisy” has a hook big enough to drag you in by the collar.
“Triple Threat” knows exactly what it is doing too. The triple threat here is sex, drugs and rock’n’roll, because why not? There’s no point turning up to this party with a glass of mineral water and a sensible cardigan. The Cruel Intentions are not that band, and this is not that album.
“Wasteland” strips things back acoustically, but even the balladry here reckons things can always get worse. There’s no schmaltz, no arms-around-the-world nonsense, just the same bruised romance in a slightly different jacket. “When Eden Burn” follows, and if the whole thing owes something of a debt to Vain, then this one especially does. That’s not a criticism. There are far worse things to be in hock to.
What you can’t ignore, though, is how good the hooks are here. “Pseudo Genius” has another one that infects like the flu until resistance is futile, and the solo is too good to treat as mere window dressing. “Bad Addiction” does much the same: sharp, catchy, filthy enough to need a wipe down afterwards.
Then there’s “Porridge Head,” my favourite song title of 2026 so far. Sensational in its dumbness, frankly, but so what? Rock’n’roll has never needed a degree, and this one makes its case by being an absolute blast.
By the time “Whatcha Gonna Do” rolls around, the percussion is incredible, the drums are alive, and the whole thing still has its foot on the monitor. Somewhere in here comes the key line: “I won’t back down.” You sense they won’t either.
All Hail Hypocrisy is dirty, loud, daft when it wants to be, sharper than it first appears and packed with choruses. The Cruel Intentions have made an album that knows exactly where it comes from, but crucially, knows where it wants to go too.
RATING 8/10
