Many things are guaranteed to turn me into a gibbering idiot. There was one this morning. I was on my phone in the car park at work and one of the women in the office arrived at the same time as me, and walking past me she says: “one last go on Tinder, is it And?” Being the suave, sophisticated bloke I am I mumbled something about booking a football ticket – which I really was doing – and then followed it up with a terrible joke about Tinder not being niche enough for my taste.
Musically, there’s always that thing when you see a two piece band. I – and I hope I am not alone here – spend the first 10 minutes gawping at them like a fool going “but there’s only two, how do they do this….”. Yet some of my favourite bands are two duos. The incredible Bonnevilles, the superb Royal Blood, the former changed the way I saw the blues, the latter are an arena rock band on their own terms.
In short, the pair is ace. This is a fact and I’ll accept no arguments.
Which brings us to The Cold Stares, and specifically “Heavy Shoes”. And, remember that opening paragraph where I respond to a harmless joke and end up looking like a pervert? The reason is this: “There’s not really anything that bothers me to talk about. When you don’t allow yourself to be human and say what’s happened to you, then you make other people that are going through tough shit think that they’re alone.” Those words come from Chris Tapp – one half of The Cold Stares – and explain the authenticity they’ve always had, but also his approach to writing words.
Lord knows, they’ve had it tough – their back story is long and varied, there’s not time for it here, but the headline is this: in 2009 Tapp was given three months to live. Subtext, if not even cancer can tell these boys what to do, then I am sure as hell not going to.
I will say this, though. “Heavy Shoes” – the album – is superb. “Heavy Shoes”- the song – underlines this. Groove? Pur—leese. Groove is what lesser bands do, this is big, thick as molasses and twice as sweet, brother. Hooks soar, solo’s screech and its still a blues song. And those lyrics? They aren’t your cliches. No “baby, maybe” bullshit here.
Instead, when they dial up the rock n roll – John Spencer would kill for “40 Men Dead” – they helpfully point out “several ways to kill your brother, gotta get home before I kill another.” I should add, in case my brother is reading this, you’re safe, mate. That said, this song is the most primal piece of brilliance.
“Take This Body From Me” rumbles. Now, whether you think like me that Rival Sons have got too whimsical, or whether you still see them as saviours, can we all agree that it would be rather fun if they wrote songs this good?
Thing is, its not even the best on this album. That’s probably “Hard Times” which lurks with intent and seems ready to do real violence, while “In The Night Time” has more than a hint of the aforementioned Bonnevilles, but imagines a world where they’d listened to a lot of The Sonics.
One of the best things about two piece bands are the drummers are generally unhinged. On “Strange Light” Brian Mullins beats his kit like he’s found it in bed with his wife, and whilst of course the lads aren’t simply a blues band, then “Prosecution Blues” is happy to have a 12 bar boogie in some dirty dive on the back roads.
There’s more than a touch of Hendrix-like funk and crunch about “It’s A Game”, there’s a raw emotion on “Save You From You”, and there’s an incredible, driving energy about “You Wanted Love”, which sounds like that no one here wanted love at all, frankly.
“Election Blues” probably speaks for us all, given the populist nightmare we are living in whatever side of the Atlantic we live, while if I’ve not mentioned the mighty Clutch yet – although have flirted with it a few times – then its tempting to see “Dust In My Hands” as something that Neil Fallon might have crafted.
Ultimately, the word you always keep coming back to with a duo is “outsiders” and maybe that’s why they are always so good? Maybe they appeal to the misfits, the awkward, the ones who don’t want to be in a gang, but are happy in their own little guerrilla movement. That’s “Heavy Shoes” and lets be absolutely clear, this Is one of the best records of the year.
Rating 10/10
