Get your fists up in the air – your balls out if you want – and swing whatever you like, because Temple Balls are here, and they are not messing about. Opener to their fourth album, “All Night Long” is brilliant. As bombastic as Glenn Hughes, and singer Arde Teronen is on top form (his nutsack must be in a vice, let’s be honest) and a mix that reckons that Deep Purple weren’t bold enough.
Forget the fact that Temple Balls have opened for Q**n, this is not music for people that don’t like music, like Brian and his boys are. This is produced by Jona Tee of H.E.A.T and it, quite frankly, is a wonderful thing. It is everything modern hard rock could be and often isn’t. “Trap” though, Is the proof you need that it’s a modern take on classic rock, not boring or dated.
“Lonely Stranger” is exactly the sort of thing that Bon Jovi should be doing, if they weren’t scared. God almighty, the guitar solo is enough to get stadiums shaking.
“Stand Up And Fight” goes all power metal just for grins, “Prisoner In Time” has listened to Europe records, “Strike Like A Cobra”, however pulls off a really neat trick. It manages to sound exactly like you think its going to do – and it still rules.
“No Reason” has a bit of a Van Halen swagger – and why not? This is not a band that is going to be upset at the comparison. Look at “Northern Lion” Jiri Paavonaho and Niko Vuorela are happily enjoying themselves (and they are definitely the sort of blokes that have a fan blowing on the stage so their locks flow.
The military drum beat to “Dead Weight” is enough to tell you they are on the march – and if there was always going to be a ballad on this somewhere, then “Stone Cold Bones” resurrects the power one, and Heart will be covering this.
“Avalanche” (the song) suits them more and it ends the album in the way they’ve spent most of it – loud, proud and carrying a torch.
And there’s a definite feel of that here. A suggestion that Temple Balls have had enough and they are here to claim classic rock, 80s rock, whatever you want to call it (just don’t call it hair metal, because that’s a ridiculous phrase) for themselves – and drag it, dammit, kicking and screaming into the 21st century by its latex trousers.
The avalanche is coming, and whether you like it or not, its laying waste to everything in its past. Glorious.
Rating 8.5/10
