It can’t just have been us, can it? That used to buy records simply because they had the “Parental Advisory” sticker on.
Far from being something to put us off, we used to treat them as a badge of honour.
The first time I can remember understanding a swearword on an album, I’d have been 11 years old in 1987 and a lad at school’s brother was playing “Appetite For Destruction” and got to that bit in “It’s So Easy” when Issy sings “I see you standing there….you think you’re so cool. Why don’t you just fuck off” and I swear to you, I don’t think rock n roll has sounded more dangerous before or since.
Fast forward 34 years and I am a 45 year old man sniggering away at the “song” “Ripped My Banjo String”. 63 seconds of furious punk rock right in the middle of “Vacuumed Half To Death”.
Now, not only is it ace – and the word song is inverted commas basically because, in all good consciousness, I can’t really take it seriously – but it is also one of the more palatable sets of lyrics on this.
Basically for 13 glorious (and gloriously immature) minutes, Plants seem to take as a starting point for the album “who can we offend most quickly?” and you have to love them for it.
And if you come for the laughs – then you might just stay for the roguish charm. Because its not like they take themselves seriously.
“This is rock n roll” goes the first line, before the sound of someone vacuuming the recording studio forms the title track. “We’re still recording”, it says at the end. I am not sure Motorhead had to put up with this.
“Stoned At Breakfast” is as fuzzy as hell, and not too dissimilar (and lets say no more than that) from “Feelgood Hit Of The Summer”, but to the best of my knowledge QOTSA never had a ska anthem which rhymed “mate” with “20 minutes late”. And you know why? Josh Homme ain’t as cool as Plants. There.
“Say It To My Face” deals with neighbours in the way we’d all like to, and descends into a hail of drunken Aussies shouting “fuck you”, sorted, and to be clear, then “Cunt’s Fucked” sounds exactly like you imagine – and want – it too. Anti-Nowhere League’s spirit lives on, bless them.
The even end it with something approaching a real song. “High On The Weekend” is catchy as you like and Offspring or Bad Religion would add another Gold Disc to the collection with it.
It is almost as though they chucked that in to show they can be serious, if they wanted. But it wouldn’t suit them.
Meet your favourite beered up, drunken Aussies. Just don’t play it when the family meets up again after lockdown. Unless, of course, your mum is Beki Bondage.
Rating 8.5/10
