I am a words man. I love them. But I’d wager there’s never been a record like this. Because “WROC” isn’t just Paul Gilbert doing Paul Gilbert things (read: playing guitar like the laws of physics are optional) — it’s him turning etiquette commandments into hard rock, prog, boogie, balladry and whatever else he fancies, then somehow making it work.
And when I say “work,” I don’t mean “that’s clever, mate” work. I mean batshit crackers work. The sort of idea that should collapse under the weight of its own novelty, but instead becomes this gloriously off-the-wall, wildly musical ride where the hooks are real, the playing is sensational, and the lyrics are so strange you keep rewinding just to make sure you heard them right.
See, WROC, which stands for “Washington’s Rules of Civility,” and its that book from the 1500s that forms the basis of the record.
It kicks off with “Keep Your Feet Firm and Even,” and honestly what applies here applies to the whole thing: it’s bonkers, and it’s brilliantly played. From there “Show Not Yourself Glad (At the Misfortune of Another)” comes in fast and rocky, chucking some of the most delightfully left-field lines you’ll hear all year… until it twists and goes proggy, because of course it does.
“Maintain a Sweet and Cheerful Countenance” is where the sheer juxtaposition hits you square in the face — a proper groover powered by the absurdity of its own premise, and somehow made stronger by it. Then the single “Go Not Thither” arrives as a twin-guitar attack with a proper metal edge, and the really annoying thing is: it’s incredibly catchy. Like Crazy Frog, if Crazy Frog could shred and had better taste.
“Orderly And Distinctly” is a public service announcement for the modern age — “Be not tedious,” indeed — delivered as a 60s-tinged ballad that’s far sweeter than it has any right to be. “If You Soak Bread in the Sauce” then throws its hips into the boogie you never knew you wanted, and suddenly you’re grinning at how stupid the concept sounds on paper and how undeniable it is in practice.
“Let Thy Carriage” is one of those moments where you just shrug and laugh — not at it, with it — because how he even thought this up is beyond me, but Christ, he can play. “Speak Not Evil of the Absent” lands like a warning label, and the problem is: once those people are in, they won’t leave. Then “Turn Not Your Back (To Others)” strips things back into a sparer, 70s-ish vibe, like a deep cut you’ve somehow always known.
The peak might be “Conscience is the Most Certain Judge.” It’s a proper highlight, and the line — “If you think it’s unlawful do not do it” — is the sort of thing someone should probably staple to a certain President’s forehead. “Every Action Done in Company” doubles down on the record’s strange brilliance: if ever there was an album in its own head, it’s this one — and that’s absolutely the point.
“Spark of Celestial Fire” could be a prog song from any era, until it tilts into a southern-rocker shape and suddenly you’re thinking: hang on, he’s saved something special for the closing stretch here. And when he drops something as jaw-dropping as “cut not bread with your knife greasy,” it’s genuinely stunning — not because it’s profound, but because it’s delivered with total conviction. Like the madness has its own logic.
Finally, “George Washington Rule” shuts the curtain with a wink and a strut — Chuck Berry would love this — and by this stage you’re either fully on board or you’ve run screaming into the street.
I can’t decide if this is the best record of 2026 or the worst. But I can say, with absolute certainty, that it’s a one-off.
RATING: 7/10
