She’ll make you kneel. It seems like she means it

Every so often someone on social media shares one of those Band Name maker memes. The last time MV did one it was whatever was next you plus a word generated by your birthday. This reviewer was Remote Control Genocide. Which we are still having that as single greatest band name ever. End of.

Battle Beast, however, is a close second.

And they’ve got better artwork. And way, way better songs.

The songs are somewhat surprising given the name. If you’d not come across their first three albums you might be forgiven for thinking that they were a death metal band. You’d be wrong.

Instead, “Bringer Of Pain” sounds like Avantasia might if they really explored their Eurovision entrant side, while at the same time doing things with a heavy metal clenched fist.

You’d call them power metal, except they aren’t. Not really. What they are is fabulously OTT and just plain fabulous. They start at a gallop with “Straight To The Heart” which has a kind of Europe (the band, not the continent) thing going on.  Then, well, then they get faster. The title track has its horns up and its up for a scrap. Crucially, the beast who is up for this battle is a woman and “she’ll make you kneel”. That is largely because singer Noora Louhimo is in astonishing form here – as to be fair are the rest of the band.

“King For A Day” does grandiose parping epicness in four and a half minutes. You want swagger? You got it. You want hooks? Yep. You could hang your coat on these bad boys and girls.

Pretty much everywhere you look there’s something huge staring back at you that has no truck with modern trends. “Beyond The Burning Skies” starts off like Meat Loaf and ends like Sabaton, but best of all is the absolutely glorious “Familiar Hell” which might just be the most fun heavy metal has ever sounded.

Make no mistake, this is a metal album. And a damn good one to boot. “Lost In Wars” is one of its heavier moments, and frankly anyone who needs any explanation as to what “Bastard Son Of Odin” sounds like is most probably reading the wrong site, let’s be honest (he’s “born to kick your ass,” by the way).

Not content with being totally and completely metal, Battle Beast settle in for a mellifluous mid-paced chugger and call it “We Will Fight”  then they race off down what can only be described as a Euro pop road for the best slice of parping this side of “Rock Me Amadeus”. That is, before they end the record with a full on power ballad. Completely unashamedly too.

You’ll either love this or hate it. There will be no in-between. MV knows where we stand and Battle Beeast probably don’t care. They couldn’t have written a better album than this.

Rating 9/10

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