Just about 34 years ago, Alice Cooper released “Hey Stoopid”. It was his 12th record.
In the summer of 1991, I was almost 16, listening to the cassette tape of the album in bed — and was genuinely terrified when the disembodied voice at the end whispered: “Steven”.
Fast forward to now, and he’s at it again.
“I think I’ll hide inside your bedsheets,” he ponders at the start of “Black Mamba”.
Oh, and by the way — the fact that it’s Robby Krieger from The Doors on the track isn’t even the most exciting thing about it.
No. Rather, “The Revenge Of Alice Cooper” marks the first time in half a century that the original Alice Cooper Band has reunited to make music (they’ve been on stage together periodically).
Being too young to remember Alice Cooper, Michael Bruce, Dennis Dunaway, Neal Smith, and Glen Buxton doesn’t mean I’m not aware they shocked a nation — nor that they wrote some utterly exceptional songs.
The fact that Alice remains a hero to this day means “The Revenge Of Alice Cooper” is a huge deal. Even better: it’s magnificent.
“Black Mamba” comes with proper menace, and no one does spoken word like Coop. Put it this way — when he says, “you’ve got nothing to fear,” I’d be afraid.
The second single, “The Wild Ones” — inspired by the Brando film — has as much energy as it does superb guitar.
Produced by the legendary Bob Ezrin, this has an early-days vibe, but what it does brilliantly is modernise that spirit. “Up All Night”, to that end, is a superb sleazy hard rocker, while “Kill The Flies” takes you straight into a nightmare the way only Coop can — and he wraps it around some mighty harmonies.
“One Night Stand” changes the vibe. A three-minute garage rocker that might bring to mind Billy Idol doing “Cold Ethyl” — and will probably end up on Wednesday 13’s next record.
The epic “Blood On The Sun” feels like a centrepiece — and deserves that accolade.
But this is a very guitar-driven record: there’s a British Invasion feel to “Crap That Gets In The Way Of Your Dreams”, as Michael Bruce excels, and the groove on “Famous Face” is greasier than a two-day-old KFC bucket as it spits bile over modern celebrity.
“Money Screams” is a catchy condemnation of capitalism (at least in my head it is), ready for arenas.
“What A Syd” reaches back to the 1960s, merrily, and that psych flavour continues on the harmonica-drenched fun of “Inter Galactic Vagabond Blues”.
“What Happened To You” is special, given that it reunites Buxton — who died in 1997 — with the boys for a punk boogie from beyond the grave.
There’s a real sense here that they’re just having fun. And that comes across again and again. Not least on “I Ain’t Done Wrong” (played as if they all know they have, frankly). They remain able to change gear at the drop of a hat, though. “See You On The Side” seems to reflect on their career and those they’ve lost: “I know someday we’ll play together again,” goes the hook. And maybe there’s a bit of that everywhere — the feeling of unfinished business.
It’s certainly there on the bonus tracks. An alternative version of “Return Of The Spiders” has been dusted off — and it has a real raw, Doors-y flourish too.
Before the downright weird “Titanic Underoverture” finishes it all.
And look, if you’ve written
“School’s Out”, “Billion Dollar Babies”, “Love It to Death”, and “Killer”,
you owe no one anything — but you kind of have a duty not to tarnish your legacy.
No worries on that score. “The Revenge Of Alice Cooper” is right up there.
And indeed, Vince? Well, he ain’t sounded this vibrant in ages.
RATING: 9/10
